It's a lazy Friday

So here's a lazy Friday post!

Yes, care of Nerd Boyfriend is this truly epic photo of the legendary mock-rockers Spinal Tap, resplendent in their then-70's chic, now retro charm.

I'll take two please, and a sewing kit

"You maniacs! You blew it up!"

*ahem*

Once in a great while, something truly incredible, something stupendous...something utter beyond the previous scope arrives on the fashion scene, and makes you do one of three things: spend every cent in your possession, stare in utter disbelief, or wretch.

The good (questionable) people at Hot Topic have pushed the bar down the street, around the corner, and off a pier into the harbour, with the release (at some point previously) of the One Legged Pant.

Just let that name sink into the squishier parts of your brain before click through to the link. Let your mind try and develop it's own idea of what that could mean Normal pants, missing one leg? Maybe it's not literal, but a comment on how the pants are made, or can sometimes appear? Maybe it's a comment on how much fabric was used, only half that of a normal pair of pants!

No.

They are none of those.

The One Legged Pants, which you will notice actually SOLD OUT at some point, are in fact a clever ruse, a cunning disguise meant to trick the male mind into, *gasp*, crossdressing!

Yes, it's a skirt. A maxi skirt, to be precise, like the kind girls used to wear in the 90's, except with some zippers and belts, to dude it up (apparently). In my humble opinion, that's like spitting in the desert; a skirt is a skirt, no matter how you attempt to masculinize it, because that's the history and culture we're stuck with. If a guy wants to wear one, there's nothing wrong with that, but I have issue with Hot Topic's apparent sly attempt at re-branding the garment in such a ridiculous fashion to sell more product.

It's almost as if the designers at HT are TRYING to get awkward high school kids beaten up and laughed at, if not for wearing a skirt (with buckles!), then for trying to explain to their bully/teachers/parents/other general public that it is in fact JUST a pair of one legged pants, and that you should stop picking on them.

What's you game, Hot Topic?

Shill for the big boys

As a dude in the fashion world, it is a general rule that anything that makes my job, that is helping other fellas look stylish (a Herculean task in these trying times of Jersey Shore), any easier is my friend, comrade and quite possibly lover.

The Collection by the New York Times is the first two. TC is the newest fashion and style app released by the Times to showcase the latest in vogue trends and wearable whatsits.

Yes, it suffers from the same male-deficiency as most such guides, focusing almost entirely on the ladies, but what's new there? The men-centric content they do deliver is well worth wading through the womanesq, and I for one have high hopes for the future of this portable potent.

(be ware, the link opens to Apple's iTunes store)

Fukashima Do'

My hair reached critical mass some point last night while I was sleeping. That is to say, not that my brain had a melt down, or my scalp became radio active. Rather, the length and volume of my hair reached that magical point where rather than looking robust and clean, or long and healthy, the two have combined to create a powerful force for chaos and mismanagement. Even with the aid of heavy products, creams and pastes thicker than any peanut butter devised by George Washington Carver in his wildest nightmare, my do' has become a wild hive of asymmetry, jutting out in random directions, as if drawn by a drunk Japanese animator.

So the question I must now ask myself; cut back this uncontrollable mess and bring us right back to square one, closely cropped and finely tuned, near-aerodynamic coif? Or power through, damn the consequences, and dare to look a little ramshackle a few weeks until the weight of the locks overpowers the sheer density, and we settle into the era of long, luxurious hippie hair (except cleaner, and not a drop of tie-dye in sight).

Decisions, decisions.

H&M Update: Lazy, lazy journalists

The local "respectable" print journal ran an article today announcing the new line from H&M I talked about yesterday. The piece, plucked from the AP wire, extols the virtues of Madame Versace's designs, and hints at how this couture would help us typically dull Canadians spruce up our look and lives (okay, so a bit of reading into it). Not mentioned, either in the article, the paper's website, or as a editor's note anywhere, is that our local H&M (as in, where those reading this paper would assume they could purchase these products) would not be carrying the line, set to be released November 19th.

Since yesterday, I've attempted to contact the H&M regional office for comment, but haven't been able to get anywhere. But at least, unlike the CH, I tried.

Further updates soon.

H&M trods on the East Coast

I'll be the first to admit that, on occasion, living on the (nearly) very Eastern coast of Canada can be problematic. Most of the best contemporary bands and musicians, aside form the home grown, avoid the place like the plaque, and any performers who do wander along tend not to mention their upcoming Halifax stops, for fear possibly that it will contaminate the rest of their tour (I'm looking at you Kevin Smith).

Essentially, if something doesn't arrive here either late or damaged, then it's not going to show up at all.

When pseudo-haute store H&M opened their doors in Halifax a few years ago, the fashion savvy in the city went a wee bit gaga. I know I did. "Holy shit, now I can look like people from Toronto! Finally, my feelings of inadequacy, vanishing thanks to this cheap pair of slave-laboured jeans!"

That scarf I told you about last time? It's from H&M, as well as two of my three favorite jackets. But just what kind of quality are we really talking about here? Was that scarf overly-long because it was designed that way? Or is it a defect? Unsellable in other markets, tossed East in the knowledge that we're all a bit starved for the styles we see on the moving picture box, beamed from Central Canada nightly.

Today the store announced over twitter that their new line would be released in the coming weeks, arriving at stores across Canada on the 19th... unless you live in Halifax, that is.

Don't worry H&M, we're getting used to being ignored.

Falling down around my butt

So it's a bit crisper outside today than the last time I posted, which if I recall was a gorgeous, warm spring day. Not that it's not wonderful out, but the nip of winter is feeling its way through the air, getting ready to settle in for the long dark months. And if you're anything like me, you're the foolish sort who will wait until the very last minute to bundle up for the weather, instead making excuses and taking short cuts to avoid the be-parka-ing.

My favorite short cut of course is the scarf. If, as we supposed above, you're anything like me, then the first thing that turns to ice will be your neck, and once it's gone the frosted way, the rest of the body will follow, regardless of how many layers I may or may not have on. A good scarf will always swoop in and save the day, and your internal temperature, a low cost and low maintenance accessory for man or woman.

There are however, as I discovered this year, potential hitches. What I thought was an elegantly simple pattern thin weave, the kind of something you could casually drape around your neck yet diligently provide comfort and warmth, turned out to be Whovian in length.

Just how do you wear a scarf long enough to simultaneously stumble over and hang yourself with? Simply wrapping it around your neck and shoulders until you've run out of scarf makes for a brilliant brace, but makes mobility above the shoulder blade almost impossible. Wrap it around only once, and it billows behind you like a cape, waving in the wind after you.

Not that I'm against capes, and it's a look that definitely has it's time and place.

I finally settled on a compromise, twice around the neck and shoulders, then draped down the front. Sure, it's a bit awkward even at this length, taking on the look of a prayer shawl hanging beneath you coat, but it carries the best of both worlds when the wind hits you, covering and protecting the neck, while flapping wildly in the wind.

All the same, next year I think I'll take a bit more time in picking out the perfect scarf.