Freddie Face Warmers

Anyone with the fortune to walk by an American Apparel daily knows that they serve as the epitome of "win some, lose some". While one month, a display may feature very stylish and, most importantly, wearable outfits for the us lowly commoners with an interest in stretchy fabric, another month may see blinding electric neon clothes made only for those residing in the negative-sizes with a power outlet somewhere up their butt.

The following fits snugly in the "lost it" category.

Behold, the Unisex Mustache Mask

As a Canuck, I really do understand the appeal of the hood, or balaclava, or the ski mask, or the face-bag as one friend in elementary school used to call them. A frozen face is never a pretty sight. I also understand the desire to not make the wearer look like they're going to take hostages. My disappointment with these Mustachios is two pronged. First, they look like they were drawn on by a stockboy at the behest of their overstressed boss, rushing around the store muttering something about "liquidation"... unsure if they mean stock or staff.

Second, it's been done better.

They even come with mix-n-match mustaches.